Wake up call ~~~~

~ ~ ~

When I first woke up in this crazy, magical, cynical, deadly, overwhelming world, I thought that I was just having an hallucination. Like I was on a big high due to the mushroom spores inside the cabin near the lake where I was resting...

Everything that kept happening could not be real! Like the hell I was able to do magic to heal people!! As a doctor, how many times did I wish I could magically save someone life. So of course, I was able to cast spells in this so call drugged dream... 

But now!? 

The past 48 hours has been one of the worst wake up call I ever had!

First part was when Wolf and I were supposed to go and try to get some intel to how to get into the underworld of this city (if we can call it that...) 

He ordered us food... Wolf is really a hungry lad... and he think I have a good appetite as well since he keeps ordering food for me! Surely, it is hard for him to understand that I barely eat to sustain my body! Eating more will just get me to throw up... 

Once the food on the table, Wolf kept on talking toto the owner. He then brought us to a secluded room and then those kids came in... sold for the only purpose of the devilish pleasure of the rich twisted mind... This should not exist... If I were in an imaginary world that I made from scratch, why THIS would still occur!!! ~ This was my first wake up call ~

Then we went to the fighting arena where again I saw what money of twisted mind could buy... I was disgusted once again... ~ I guess this was my second wake up call ~

Then we went to an inn... I was still acting insulted that my companions enjoyed the easy money made in the arena, I went on being grumpy by myself in a creepy room... Little did I know that we would be ambushed by, I am not sure what, deadly silent assassin... that mostly killed everyone, except us...

Not even time to breath once the fight was over, that the pink lady sent her army to get us... without making case of the bloody floor without any injured or dead people around... 

We decided to follow them... My mind had been in a blur after that. I barely remember meeting the pink lady and whatever she said. 

My mind was spiraling the images of Wolf, the kids, the fire, the fighting and the way too many corpses that we left along the way! All my life I fled dangerous situation, and I since my awakening in this world, fleeing was no longer an option... and Wolf, always making me decide our whereabouts. He would then push it until I understood that I was the one that took the decisions... 

Once the meeting was over with the Pinky madwoman, we were giving rooms for the night. I was utterly exhausted... my mind kept on going indefinitely until sleep finally silenced it.

So... I am sure I fell asleep on the balcony of the room they gave me... but strangely I awoke in the middle of the bed, in an extreme, horrible pain around the cursed tattoo. I was holding my arm, hoping it would lessen this shattering feeling. My entire being was shaking. I could barely think of what Wolf was doing to make me feel such torment!

All this suffering was too much to bear, and as a scream of agony left my lips, I felt a power surge go through me. Everything turned out white as if there was a blinding light surrounding me. As swiftly as the pain came, it disappeared as fast! I looked around me, but I could not understand what happened. The pain was gone as if it was never there!

Again, my mind went into a blur, trying to understand what just happened! I ran to Tiberius, seeking answers, protection, and, comforting as well... Comfort and Tiberius, a weird combination yet, it was it! I needed him around to feel safe.

Lily said that our souls where stirred... How can you stir a soul?? And if all four of us had our souls stirred..., why was I the only one that has her hair grow to a length that I could have tumble on them? Well, the questions would have to wait since we were back on the run! Whatever happened to me did not go unnoticed and we had to flee. Though we failed at it... 

We were into two separate cells. One for the guys and the other for us girls. Ironically, I was feeling a discomfort not being in the same cell as Tiberius, but he was not far and Lily was with me, so I drifted back again into sleep until guards, with mechanicals pet, came to pick up Sofia. Again, I barely listened to what was said, but when Sofia was asked to follow them, along with me and Celadon, I started too internally panicked. My eyes went to Tiberius who was also looking at me. As I walked before his cell, he whispered to me to call his name. I kept looking at him while walking away until could no longer see him. 
I felt utterly powerless as Lord Fresco questioned Sofia regarding an ocean crystal, then they took Celadon since she said she was the White Mage and sit and tie her up on a weird scary chair. I felt terrified to what was to come. Unable to say a word, unable to do anything. Fear was all I felt as I saw Celadon slowly being drained by the machine. Her cries finally reached my frozen mind, and I snapped into action ~ The third wake up call, and the most painful one. ~

Celadon was yelling to me to call upon Tiberius. That I had the power to make him come to me. Then I felt on my arm the writing message Tiberius was sending me, but unfortunately, I could not understand what it all meant since I was trying to free Celadon from this torturous chair.

When finally, Tiberius came to view with the other, a brief moment of relief washed over me before I understood that something bad was coming our way.

Taos had become a dragon because of Celadon state. We fought against him, but it only when Tiberius removed his skin and transform into…something, that we finally stood a chance against him.

It was when I was pined on the ground by Taos claw that Tiberius pulled out and threw is skin near my face for me to see. He then subdued the beast; I cannot say how… After a little chat between them he came to pick me up and we all left the dreaded castle on the back of this Abyssal dragon.

I kept looking at Tiberius, or Amun, or whatever is name is. I was not sure who or what he was. But I knew deep down that whatever this creature was, he was the one I was bound too. Strangely enough, I still felt safe in his arms…

 ~ ~ ~

All that has happened, the suffering and all, made me understand that it was time for me to stop acting like I was not part of this. Like I did not care for these people. That all of this was just temporary…

This IS my new reality, and I have much to learn about it!

I care for them… All of them… Well, some more than others, but still. They are somewhat my new family, and I will finally act as part of it!

 

Money

Money.... 

How can you loose yourself so much for it? What can it bring you, more than your own life can? Comfort, luxury, servents.... ??  Your life is way more important than any of this!

I may have a biased mindset since I did't grow up were money was much needed, but seriously, I didn't think they could go so low for it... 

I tried... Tried to understand there need for money... but no, I still don't get it. 

When I danced in that bar, for those drunkards, it was the first time I made money on my own since for ever. The feeling I had while dancing was only being grossed out by those perverts looking at me as if I was the best meal they could have. I didn't like it...

When I took the 2 gold pieces in my hands after the dance I felt nothing more than disgust... No satisfaction whatsoever. Shouldn't I have felt pleased to make my own money ? I thought I would... but no... nothing except disdain towards those 2 golden pieces. 

So much, that I gave those immediately to Wolf... Can we consider my dancing like selling myself for these 2 gold pieces ? Definitely.... I had to try it, and I did... Never again! I won't be selling myself for money!! 

But that is me... 

I definitely do not have the same point of view as most of the other of the group... 

Since the plan to meet the higher up has been made, they only talk about how to make money (wich is the reason why I decided to dance in the first place) 

When they talked about fights club, I didnt thought it was fights to death... I followed them inside like a good puppy and now I feel trap. I'm not even the one fighting and yet I feel like I am partially responsible for those man death.... 

How can Ren et Tas killed those men without hesitation...? They even did a little show with ripping one the arms off one of them... all for money... I am utterely discusted.

So is completly enjoying herself, like she's overjoyed with all the bloodshed... Don is somewhat uncomfortable, but I can't really tell if it's her worry for Tas or if it's the situation that makes her so silent... Ly is as always calm and unreadable. She seems to be looking at something that only her can see... I wonder what she is thinking about this gruesome site... 

And Wolf is...somewhere... he disapeared since we came to to the fighting arena. Probably working toward his goal of getting in the upper class... at least he doesn't seem to be in danger or getting too far away, causing me to follow him... thought I wish he would at the moment... 

I can't stay here any longer...I am suffocating... This place and people have no respect for the life they were given... They are killing for the show...only to gain more money... I can't... I just can't be part of this... I need air...

First thought... Part 2

I think my head will explod with thinking so much... Everything that is happening is completly out of what I have always known! 

I feel like I'm playing a characther of a D&D game in a SciFi fantasy movie! 

Geez... I can even do magic now... Like, I don't even now how I do it?? How is it even possible for me to do magic when I didn't even know that magic really existed a week ago!! And aren't magic user suppose to be thought how to do it? Or at least shouldn't they be aware of their magical capacity before being able to cast something ? And why my hair turned white out of nowhere ? 

So many questions yet still no answers to any of those...sigh...

I know most of the magic spell I'm casting is on pure instinct, but still... Could it be the bond ? Like, can it be this link between me and Wolf that gave me some magical power of sorts ? 

They all seem to think that it was already within me, but I doubt it... and yet... if it was really within me all this time, could this magical power be the reason why I never got infected with CH-79z? If so, how did I get this power? 

My parents told me they found me in a tree trunk while taking a walk in the forest... Did my real parents new of that power somehow and decided to abandon me ? Was my real parents from our world... or from this one... or from another? 

...sigh...

Do I even want answers to those questions ? They abandonned me... so lets be logical and accept that they didn't want me with them. That apart, I am still thankful to them for putting me in the path of amazing people that loved me as one of their own...

     * * *

So much happened in just a week that my brain is barely able to follow all of it. 

It's not to hard staying emotionally away from the others at this point... and I'm pretty sure none of them wants to stick around me too much as I put them more in danger than any other one in the group... 

First I'm already on a wanted list... not that I understand why, but Bounty hunters are now officially looking for me. 

Second, I had them transported to an unknown location because I blew into a windpipe given by a ... actually I'm not sure who or what she was... 

Third, well... I drank something that I shouldn't have... I don't know what it was, none of us do, but it was definitly not something I should have tasted... and then boom I woke up to be surrounded by dead people...

So yeah.... keeping the rest of them away from me has been suprinsingly easy, if I could say it like that.

But I still see them, observe them... a part of me want to be part of something, but I know deep down that I musn't... 

They are all weird in a sense and they all seem to be able to follow everything that is going on without much thought.

So is the weirdest I think... A rich girl with a dark interest in blood, explosion and weird creatures. She seems to like the dark humour of Wolf and she has full trust in Ren...even though she knows nothing of him, it, or whatever he is... She is scary with her thurst of carnage and yet... she makes me coffee like if everything is normal....really scary!

Ren is... I don't know....strong!? He says he have no memories of his past, but does he really ? Whats is he ? From my point of view, he is pretty much like a terminator robot. Like Arnold Scharzenegger!! Maybe he was sent into this world to acomplish a mission ? He doesn't seem to mind different races like So does... in fact he doesn't seem to mind much that is going on... he just goes with the flow!

I don't have much an opinion on Tas and Sly, as they mostly keep to themself...Though Sly is more talkative, he seems to hide and observe behind is big mouth, while Tas, just keep observing silently. 

Don... I don't know what it is with her, but everytime I'm around her I feel at peace, safe. That is why I must not get too close to her... or I'll start worrying for her and then I will start caring for her... no! I will not!

Lil and Dog, we will see... They seems to know alot about all of this... hopefully they will be able to quicken the pace of all this and we will be able to go our separe ways faster!!

Wolf... well he is the more dangerous one to me. Not just because he can, and is easily hurting me, but since my life is intertwined with his... I can't just ignore him... He was clearly mad when I drank that potion thing and he made me understand how I have endanger all of us by my careless actions... I felt his rage within me... his anger... Every word that came out was like a punch to my face. He was right! On everything he said... I acted like a child...

Wolf is dark... not sure I could say he is evil, but he is definitly not good. They way his eyes bore into mine when we talked together after I met the lady in white by the river...It was like he was searching within my soul...  The way his brows twitches at the mentions of her name...anger?  And when he asked urgently how I came to know the name of his wife after we burned down the dead villagers !? What happened to his wife? To him? Why was he locked sleeping into that cave for nearly 500 years... why does he seems to hate humans and mages so much? All those questions that I shouldn't be asking myself are rolling into my head...  I shouldn't care what this is all about... 

But like I said, he was right on the fact that I acted like a child, an unknowing child at that. I need to keep my head on if I want to survive all of this. I must also admit that I will need these people to get to my goal, which is getting my freedom to be able to find a place to live. So until then, I will learn to work with them... and think before doing any careless thing again!

I say we should call our group the cursed ones...Don and Tas has a similar curse to mine and Wolf... Ren also has one, but he isn't link to anyone... or not anyone that we know of... So also has a curse on her, but we don't know what hers is or do...It just leaves Sly, Ly and Dog to know if they are cursed or not... I say they probably are! Anyhow, just being tagged along with us should be considered a curse, so yeah... we are the cursed ones. 

First thought... Part 1

A week...

A mere 7 days since my entire existance has been shattered and thrown into a somewhat new world, yet so...medieval like.

At first I thought I was dreaming...even hoped I was... But I guess I should have been used by now that dreams and hope do not mengle well together. 

            * * *

I don't know how long it has been since I had to flee the survivors camp... since James was killed to protect me... Months, maybe a year. Time flows differently when you are alone.. And alone what was I wanted to stay. So many have died, I couldn't risk to get attached to someone just to see them die, or worse, having to kill them myself...

I thought that going back were they found me was a good idea. They had showed me where it was many years ago, but I didn't think that I would be able to find anything... but at least it gave me a purpose to keep walking forward. 

But what I found was...not something that I would have thought possible.

Why on earth couldn't I restrain myself to jump in the water to find out what had fallen from the sky?! I'm sure the fact that I had nothing more to live for was a good reason enough to jump and see that strange thing, but still...it was stupid on my part! 

Though... I cannot say I regret touching the mirror, or the deamon gate, like Wolf called it... 

I was definitly not expecting that I would be transported somewhere else....like litteraly a world away from where I lived, but again, it was only the beginning of the impossible being possible...  

If only this mirror had fell down years ago... maybe they wouldn't all be dead... 

    * * *

Wolf was the first one I found... well I should probably say that he is the first one that I stumbled upon. Laying down on that stone table... I should have known better than to touch him... but could I really have let him there without trying anything to save him? He definitly didn't look dead, but he sure has hell looked like he has been there for a very long time.

Yet again I didn't think and just acted... so much for self-preservation... 

I barely remember what happened when I touched the serpents like crest on his chest but it's definitly then that him and I were linked, cursed, or whatever it is that we are now...

I didn't want to admit it at first, even though the pain was real every time his body was hurt... but now.... now I can no longer deny the bond between us!

Everything that hurt him will hurt me, the same for him if I am hurt. My life is no longer my own... I can no longer just act as if my choices would only impact me and think that every choice I make, he will have to deal with the consequences along with me. Our life are now one...in hope that someday we will find a way to undo this bond that seems to get stronger each passing day.

...sigh...

It has been hard accepting it...and I must say, it will probably keep on being harder as the time will pass. I didn't want to be with people, I didn't what to feel for other. Because I know that if they die... which they always do, I might not be able to recover from it this time...I've lost too many already! My heart was already deeply wounded by each death that I had to endure...

I need to stay focus on the fact that this, magical shit of sort, is only for a short while!! We won't be like this forever, and when we will finally be free from each other, we will go our separate ways! I cannot let myself feel anything for Wolf, nor care for him in any way. I must keep on hating him so I won't be devasted in the end...

...sigh... 

The same goes for all the others... 

Ren and So were the ones that we met first, when Wolf and I got through another deamon gate that was near the stone table. 

Almost instantly we had our first fight of the many that followed... Though I must say that I never thought that the giant cat that we fought back then would become a part of the group as well! 

Not sure how this can be possible, but then again... since I'm in this new world, impossible is no longer a possible termed to use for everything that I saw.

Tas and Don were soon to join as well, along with Sly, and now we have again new comers joining in, Ly and Dog... 

So many people around me now! So much for me wanting to stay alone... 

I need to keep on not caring for any of them! This is only a temporary situation! When it will be resolved we will all go our separate ways and never see each other again!

...sigh...

Hopefully I will keep to this belief and won't get myself attached to anyone in the process! 

For that to happen,  I need to set myself a goal to focus on, and I think I know exactly what this goal will be! 

Finding a hiding place in this new world to start a new life... once all of this is over! This world is magnificent and well alive! In this matter I will definitly not be going back to my dying world... It would be killing myself and I'm a survivor...aren't I ?  

Hope

Hope is a big word for those waiting. 

So here is a small post to give a little hope :P